Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Book Review Feb 12, 2024

My review

3/5 stars

I've heard a lot about this book over the past couple of years, so I decided to finally give it a go.

The premise is a relatable and interesting one, one that me and many of my friends are familiar with. It's a game to help women step away from being the default parent in their household and start dividing the workload of a standard family home a bit more equitably with their partner.

I found that the structure of the game and the rules for how to play it are quite strict and I can only really see it applying to a particular type of household - a home where both parents live together and both parents work outside the home. I understand the idea behind why the rules are so strict, but I can't see that working in my particular home because it doesn't provide us with enough flexibility.

I also struggled with the audiobook format when it came to the author explaining each of the cards and the rules of the game. Everything merged together in a way that it wouldn't on the page (I think), so I would recommend that anyone wanting to read this does so in hardback or paperback format.

What did strike a chord with me was the CPE theory. It helped me to identify that while I get a lot of support with execution, I'm still bearing the brunt of the load for conception and planning. It started a discussion between me and my husband that I'm not sure we would have been able to have without me reading this book.

I also enjoyed the case studies that were included. I'm not sure they added much in the way of proving the value of the game, but they did a great job of making the content relatable.

A decent read, but I don't think it'll revolutionise my marriage anytime soon, as I already have a pretty supportive and involved partner.

Book blurb

Eve Rodsky is changing society one relationship at a time, by coming up with a 21st-century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering the brunt of domestic responsibilities, the mental load, the emotional labour. Everything that is required to keep the fridge full, the children's homework in their schoolbags, and the the household running. The unequal division of all this invisible work in relationships is a recipe for disaster, but no one has offered a real solution to this dilemma, until now.

Eve Rodsky was tired of always being the one who has to remember to buy loo roll, or to book the family's dentist appointments, or to send the thank you cards - all while working full time. So Eve decided to do what she does every day as an organisational psychologist: organise. She conducted original research with more than 500 couples to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually is and how to get it done effectively and all in a way that makes relationships even stronger. Fair Play identifies the 100 main tasks in any relationship, and then divides those tasks fairly (not necessarily equally) so that both parties contribute their fair share.

If we don't learn to rebalance our home life and reclaim some time to develop the skills and passions that keep us unique, then we risk losing our right to be interesting, not just to our partner but to ourselves. Getting this right isn't a luxury, it's a necessity for a happy, lasting partnership. Part how-to guide for couples, part modern relationship manifesto, Fair Play offers an innovative system with a completely original lexicon to discuss how relationships actually work...and how we can make them work better.