Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy

5 Stars Feb 02, 2023

My review

5/5 stars

I came across Dr Becky Kennedy and her parenting ethos while listening to another podcast (thanks Anna Mathur) and was intrigued instantly. I have yet to come across a parent who didn't wish they yelled less, or worry that they weren't setting their kids up for later life in the way they hoped; this book is perfectly pitched for addressing those concerns.

What struck me most about this book (and the whole of the Good Inside school of thought) is that it is non-judgemental. The author manages to strike the right tone, so that she's capable of pointing out where you could improve as a parent moving forward, without making you feel like a shoddy parent for everything you've done up to this point. Her theory is that all kids are good inside, they are just having a hard time, and she applies that to parents as well: we are all good parents, we are just coping with a hard time the best way we know how.

The gentle, kind, caring tone really sets the book apart from most parenting books I've read. She is matter-of-fact about what works and what doesn't, and where most parents need to focus on improving, but she does it in such a way that it feels like a cosy chat with a friend, or a big hug. That really helps with having the message hit home - it's a hard message to hear, no matter how necessary, and it's an important one as well, so it's brilliant that she manages to deliver it with love.

The first half of the book is a deep-dive into the ten parts of her working theory and how she came up with each of them. It provides the "science" behind where modern parenting is evolving beyond what the previous generation believed to work. The second half of the book takes several real-life situations, moments that all parents find themselves struggling with on a daily basis, and gives practical tips for how to navigate those moments within the framework of her Good Inside theory. The blend of the two makes for great reading and keeps the format feeling fresh and engaging throughout.

In short, this is a book that all parents should read. It delivers so much in such a workable way that it's impossible not to take at least something away from it that will help you build a stronger relationship with each of your kids.

Book blurb

Wildly popular parenting expert Dr Becky Kennedy shares her groundbreaking approach to raising kids in a way that feels good.

Over the past several years, Dr Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as ‘Dr Becky’—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritises connecting with our kids over correcting them.

From reward charts to time-outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behaviour, not raising humans. These techniques don’t build the skills kids need for life or account for their complex emotional needs. Add to that parents’ complicated relationships with their own upbringings and it’s easy to see why so many caretakers feel lost, burned out, and worried they’re failing their kids.

In Good Inside, Dr Becky shares her parenting philosophy, complete with actionable strategies, that will help parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership. Offering perspective-shifting parenting principles and troubleshooting for specific scenarios—including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, and more—Good Inside is a comprehensive resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of self-regulation, confidence, and resilience.