Spare by Prince Harry

My review

4/5 stars

Let me preface this by saying that I am fan of both the Royal Family and Harry and Meghan, and I am not writing this to get involved in the politics of their private family situation.

As with any situation, there is Harry's side, there is the Royal Family's side and the truth will be somewhere in the middle. I knew that I would see a lot of information about this book in my social feeds because of the accounts and pages that I choose to follow, so it was important to me to read this book for myself and make my own mind up rather than having the press and social media make my mind up for me.

My main takeaway from this book is how open he has been. He has made a conscious decision to not hold anything back, and it comes across to me as a form of therapy for him to air all the things he's felt like he's had to sit on for the past 3 decades. While I admit there are things that maybe didn't need to be shared because they were somewhat unnecessary for us to know (such as a frostbitten penis), I can appreciate that he has as much right as the next person to live his version of the truth and share that with whoever he sees fit.

The ghost-writer has done a great job of making sure that the narrative is moving and thought-provoking, even if you don't necessarily agree with what has been said. This was most evident in how he discussed the various relationships in his life. His life is seemingly marked by a series of challenging and somewhat confusing relationships, from his missing relationship with his mother, to his fraught relationship with his elder brother. I feel the pain and turmoil of those relationships throughout, and the writing manages to make me feel something for all parties involved.

As mentioned, I am a fan of the Royal Family, but there can be no denying that a family under that level of scrutiny and subject to that degree of public attention and interest can be anything other than at least somewhat dysfunctional. For that reason, I don't find it at all hard to believe that at least some version of the more controversial altercations really did take place. I can understand why some people might feel frustrated that someone has chosen to shine a light on that dysfunction, but I personally don't see the shame in admitting that the Royals are, in fact, normal human beings, with human disagreements.

There were occasions where the narrative turned into a bit of a rant, but from where I stand, if I had felt silenced for as long as he has felt silenced, then I'd probably make the most of, what could be, my one opportunity to tell my side of the story as I saw it. Does it make for the most logical, cohesive read? No, but it does make it feel genuine. This was magnified by listening to him read the book for himself on audiobook; his emotions poured through the page and added real feeling to what was being said.

The lasting note for me is that of Harry's ongoing relationship with the press. He clearly has a big chip on his shoulder when it comes to how the UK press operate, which has now seeped into, and poisoned, his relationship with his family. It's not hard to understand why, given what we now about how the press operate in general, and considering the toxic input they've had on the most pivotal moments of his life thus far. While it is obviously an unhealthy relationship that verges on obsession, I admire the fact that he's at least trying to turn it into positive action for a wider benefit that just him and his family, even if he does miss the mark on how he executes that intention sometimes.

On the whole, I've come away from this feeling like I have a better understanding of his life, a clearer view of what goes on behind the curtain of the Royal Family (none of which totally surprised me) and a deeper empathy for how challenging a life under that unbearable spotlight must be to cope with. I'm also left with a deep sense of sadness that the image that they've chosen to portray over the years seems so far away from (Harry's version of, at least) the truth. Well worth a read for anyone with an interest in current Royal Family affairs, regardless of what side you come down on.

Book blurb

It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother's coffin as the world watched in sorrow-and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling-and how their lives would play out from that point on.

For Harry, this is that story at last.

Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness-and, because he blamed the press for his mother's death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.

At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn't find true love.

Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple's cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .

For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.

More...

You can buy the book here now. It was published by Penguin.

For more on the author, there's plenty about him plastered all over the internet - you can decide what you do and don't believe. He also runs Archewell with his wife.