The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

Book Review Dec 13, 2022

My review

4/5 stars

I came across the idea of The Four Tendencies on a podcast I was listening to and was curious to get more information. Based on what I'd heard on the podcast, I thought I already knew what type I was, and taking the quick test on the author's website confirmed my suspicions.

Despite already knowing my type, I found it really interesting to listen to the author go into more detail about what that meant. I also found value in hearing more about the other types and recognising them in the people I love. There is no scientific basis for the framework but it's an interesting theory all the same, and the additional information has helped me to see certain behaviours in my loved ones in a different light.

What I appreciated most about this book is how clear the author was about the fact that this was not supposed to be an exercise in boxing people in or adding more labels to them. It was designed to help everyone understand one particular part of their personality a little better: what motivates you to get things done.

As a side note, it was a lovely touch that the author narrated her own audiobook. I've found it to be unusual for authors to do so in this particular genre of book, but it really helped that she did, as it meant that what was being said was given the correct meaning and emphasis, and felt more personal.

Book blurb

OBLIGER? REBEL? QUESTIONER? UPHOLDER? Which one are you?

Everyone falls into 1 of 4 personality types and knowing yours could make you happier and more successful. During her investigation to understand human nature, explored most recently in her bestselling Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin realised that by asking the seemingly dry question 'How do I respond to expectations?' we gain life changing self-knowledge.

She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behaviour, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.

More than 800,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.

The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought...
- People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself
- How can I help someone to follow good advice?
- People say I ask too many questions
- How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask - or who keeps telling me what to do?

With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.